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Perfect, Whole and Complete
Three words that I in no way used to describe me
I was funny and loyal and had a great personality
I was never the girl who I wanted to be
But this isn’t the story about who I used to be
I wanna tell you the story of when I opened my eyes
Not the ones I use to see my nose or my thick thighs
The ones I use to see the strength that lies inside
You see a girl who knows who she is
Is powerful and beautiful and radiates bliss
She is a girl who walks with her head held high
No matter what is being hollered from cars passing by
She is the girl who isn’t afraid of her tears, so they visit her less often
She is the girl who doesn’t see the things that she doesn’t want to see
None of it phases her; she is Perfect, Whole and Complete
Now a friend once asked does that mean you’ve given up?
Is there nothing more for you to achieve so you’re done?
You’re perfect, whole and complete?
The answer is simple, I’m never done.
Right now is all that matters
Right now I’m doing my best
Right now I am perfect, whole and complete
I will not let my past define me
I will not wait until my future to be happy
Right now I am living while before…
Well let’s just say, before there was a reason for change
And now that change has come
I wonder how I lived without it
And I remember…
Oh ya, I was the girl always trying to hide,
I was the girl who was loyal and kind
But those are just words used to describe
The girl who was victimized with tears in her eyes
Not because everyone thought she had a great personality…
BUT….
Yes, But…she’s a little heavy
She has a sexy voice but when her friends friends would ask
“Yo, what’s the deal with the girl who answered your phone? Is she hot?”
You would say “no”
You see that made me, hate me.
But it has less than nothing to do with how you perceive me, but how I chose to look at my beauty.
It was those moments when I gave up my power by believing that you had any stake in how I feel
It was me victimizing myself to stay in the safe little 2 by 2 box that I could defined my entire self in.
It doesn’t matter if you think I’m hot or not
It doesn’t matter because validation isn’t necessary
When you have the answer inside of you
That box can’t hold everything that you are
Because you are bigger than your body and it has nothing to do with weight!
But, lets get back to that day… the day I opened my eyes
They were bloodshot and dry from years of crying on the inside
They were squinting, not quite ready to adjust to the light
This new light that was opening up inside of me
My heart was breaking
But not in the way you think I mean
My heart was breaking the shell of my self-hatred
My heart was opening to the beauty that was there all along
My heart was forcing me to see
Because I had forgotten
I had forgotten that I was perfect, whole and complete
That my Maker, made no mistakes on me
And that no person, not a single one on earth has the ability to take that away from me
I am my own best friend just like I was my own worst enemy
With my eyes now open and my language changing
Words like “can’t” turned into “probabilities” and “nevers” turned into “why nots”
I made my life into what I want it to be
See cuz I’m still loving, loyal, funny with a great personality
But I am also beautiful and strong and intelligent and sensual and well…I could go on and on and on but all you need to know is the woman standing before you, well she
She’s perfect and whole and complete
Written & Performed by Fiona Suliman.
To experience these words by Fiona herself, click here
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